This was the first time I held my baby after he was born.
It was 32 hours after his arrival and I was in such a state of shock (I learnt later that I’d disassociated from what was happening as a ‘survival’ mechanism) that I hesitated when the midwife asked if we’d had a chance to hold him yet and did we want to.
The beginning of motherhood looks different for everyone and we can’t plan for everything that could and does happen during childbirth. But we can be prepared and empowered.
This new mum trusted that her body would know what to do and rather than prepare she took a super casual approach and figured her breathing and years of sport would see her through.
The mother I am today, preparing for my second bub knows, with experience and the gift of hindsight, that she could have prepared better and felt more empowered in her birth and beyond had she prioritised learning and showing up the way she does for everything else in life.
The mother in this photo was told that ‘all that mattered was her baby was ok’, to focus on her baby and not worry about the rest, to get on with it and accept the things out of her control. The mother in this photo was silenced and had her trauma minimised, not maliciously so, but minimised nonetheless by those she opened up to. So she learnt not to say anything and to minimise it herself, assuming the overwhelm, the anxiety over her baby’s health and breathing, and feeling lost and isolated were just her and things she needed to ‘get over’.
The mother today knows that this was all partly PTSD from a traumatic birth, partly the normal feelings of new motherhood.
The mother in me today is adamant that no other woman be left to feel this way and wonder if it’s just her. If it’s normal, if it’ll pass, if she’s overreacting or too emotional or just overwhelmed. Adamant that women entering motherhood feel empowered and seen and heard.
Motherhood is a journey that we can’t and shouldn’t do alone. If you’re a new mum, or a mum of any variety reach out, say hey (comment below or send me an email if you like, I’d love to hear from you!), connect with others and with people who will listen and support you. You’re not alone even on the days you feel the loneliest.
